grace notes

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted for real. Work has taken its toll on my writing time, but I do want to make a better effort to write - even if it’s just a blurb. We will be moving on Saturday, so we’re trying to pack things up, sell things off, and take things to Goodwill. We’re getting really excited to move to our new home - the one we built together for our family. I’ve tried to post pictures of it here, but am having troubles with it displaying. If you’d like pictures, email me.

Work has been a difficult but satisfying experience so far. If anything, I’ve learned that the Christian walk can make life harder and not necessarily easier. The kiddos are amazing, yet troubled, and there isn’t a day that goes by where my heart doesn’t break for them. Jesus, please send your kingdom to this place. There are so many times (sitting in group or in therapy) my mind cannot comprehend everything that is going on, and it’s these times that I’ve found most helpful to pray in the spirit. I know I can’t figure it all out, nor offer quick fixes, but it helps to be in tune with above.

I’m learning lots, reading lots, and in particular am studying different theories of infant development (psychoanalysis, ego psychology, object relations, social learning, attachment and ethology). There’s so much to say on all of this, but I can’t quite lay my finger on what makes each theory, slightly off. It’s like asking a mouse to describe an elephant; depending on where it stands, it can have a very different point of view. But looking down from above, things are put into better perspective. I’ll try to write more about this later, for now, it’s too much to summarize.

Since, B and I are both working now, B has taken on some more domestic responsibilities, which I appreciate greatly. We take turns cooking dinner, doing the shopping and the laundry. Last night, B even ironed my shirts for me. He is really so sweet; I can’t imagine trying to tackle residency without him. Thanks B, I love you…

Also known, in psychology circles, as group therapy. As part of my work at ASH, I’ve been learning and participating in process groups as well as CBT. The task is to “build the group” rather than focus on problem solving or “fixing” individuals. I thought this was synchronous with the body of Christ and how our each of our callings and spiritual gifts are for edifying the body or building the group.

The whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love (Ephesians 4:16).

Yalom’s therapeutic factors (in the 5th edition of ‘The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy’) are derived from extensive self-report research with users of group therapy:

• Universality

• Altruism

• Instillation of hope

• Imparting information

• Corrective recapitulation of the primary family experience

• Development of socializing techniques

• Imitative behaviour

• Cohesiveness

• Existential factors

• Catharsis

• Interpersonal learning

• Self-understanding

Seems to be a reoccuring theme in many of my daily encounters. Fathers. Biological fathers. Adoptive fathers. Step-fathers. What they’ve done, what they didn’t do. Why they left and why we feel abandonned. Many children dream of a perfect father. One that protects, one that affirms, one that provides. But this doesn’t seem to be the common experience.

Whenever I meet someone who’s had an abusive relationship with his father, I just want to hug him and tell him about a different father.  One that never hurts us and is always for us.  One who wants a real relationship with us, and one that will never leave us.

For those in the counseling profession or those who simply like to comfort others, USING THE SCRIPTURES IN COUNSELING.

I particularly agree with this:

Far too frequently we deliver a message about what the person should be like once they have arrived rather than deliver a message they need at this very moment (e.g., we tell the recently bereft not to mourn as those who have no hope rather than considering how God records their every tear).

… while we can use the Scriptures to point people to where we think they should be (if they were more mature in Christ), when we do not take the time to meet people where they are, we run the risk of injuring them with our use of the Word.

and this:

… when we view the Scriptures as treatment rather than something to enter in, we look for immediate results. If we want to enable people in this fast food and extreme makeover culture to see the Scriptures in a different light, we must teach them first. This requires that we not only teach them about our purpose for using the Scriptures but also what is expressly not part of our purpose.